Sooner or Later

About music mondays, songwriting

So this is a song I wrote about 3 years ago as a Valentine’s day present. The four years I spent in college, I had a pretty significant case of writer’s block, and this is probably one of only 5 or 6 songs I continue to play from that period of time. Writer’s block is a devious thing: the more you want to write something good, the more critical you become of all your attempts, thereby dashing any real paths to something creative. In writing, like everything else, you have to do lots of to get any good results from. I’ve written a lot of shitty songs, and a couple good ones–and those good ones could never have existed if I didn’t power through the shitty ones. Even doing Music Mondays, I’m aware that I can’t necessarily post all of my best work, and I’m OK with that. The so-so songs are important too, if only for feedback and being able to see my own progress and threads throughout my work. Once I’ve been doing this for a while, I will have a large body of work online and people (and myself) will be able to filter through them and pick ones they like, or see what works and what doesn’t. That’s the point.

Back to writer’s block. There were 2 main things that kept me quiet in college: the city and my college relationship. I am not really a city person, and I found New York incredibly stifling. It didn’t help that I lived with a lot of other people and lived entirely in dorms. I become fairly reclusive when writing, and the feeling that I was never alone was pervasive through my college years, and has subsequently made my transition into self-reliance a little difficult (I have a tendency to follow people home).

The other main thing was the fact that I was in a steady relationship for most of my college career. Being in a healthy, communicative relationship doesn’t quite jive with my method of writing, which namely draws on my stifled internal narratives. I’ve said it before, I write what I feel I can’t say out loud. “My songs are letters to people who I don’t know their addresses.” I haven’t really been in a healthy relationship since this one ended, and needless to say, it’s been an extremely prolific period of my life. I worry about the next time I find myself happy with another person, which has (I hate to say) become a more pressing goal for my future.

The point is, this is the only kind of song I could really write in this time period–something silly and cute, meaningful to me, but slightly lacking in depth. Don’t be too grossed out; it is Valentine’s Day after all.

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